Well Aren't You Sneaky Mr. Clean.

You know what, Mr. Clean... you should try harder when you escape North America... Perhaps a new outfit, wig, taking out the earing?

You are still more trustworthy than Dix. I mean that guy just looks drunk.

Ah good ol' Gold Drop Dix.

Wine Country AKA Death Mountain

I have never, ever, ever, been so hot in my entire life. I have swam in hot springs, I have camped in George, Washington (he he) in a tent in an open field in the desert, I have roasted on beaches in snazzy locales such as Costa Rica, Mexico and Slave Lake, Alberta... But nothing can compare to Tokaj, Hungary. Nothing. Though I have no idea what the temperature people told me it was probably between 35-38 degrees...

Blah!

There was no wind, there was humidity, there was no beach.

That is not festival weather my friends, that is not a situation in which to be camping, carrying a backpack with tent, to be drinking (because it is wine country- people), eating soup (because it is a specialty), tenting, try Fény for the first time (carbonated vodka - the only thing that should be carbonated is water, with syrup, NOT vodka and syrup... BLECH) etc...

Conditions such as theses lead to profuse sweating, making fun of british people and swimming in the dirtiest river I have seen outside the Danube.

In other news, I had a great weekend away, I fell in love with Furmint Fröccs,watching people trip over tent lines and the band Groove Armada. The linked video doesn't do them justice, because there are no unitards worn by a woman with an undercut.

Also, who knew that Hungary would have such great ac/dc and Guns and Roses cover bands: AB CD and Hollywood Rose. So original.

Without further ado here are some images:

-I honestly wonder what we are expected to do on this train?

- For my Dad: A picture of a sunflower field... They also grow corn and what looked like barley or something... It is you, who taught me the art of taking thousands of pictures of fields.

-Small town with oh so many wires.

-And that, my dear, is where babies come from.

-Our leftover bacon...

-Cutest little square in the world! I could have spent hours here complaining about how hot I was... Oh wait...

-More cute square, fountain in which we drank from; shade in which we complained in.

-"Can I sit on those stair and complain"... "Why yes you can Jill, yes you can"

-That is right, you know how to close off the cutest square in the world Tokaj

-All right plant people, show me your skills... WHAT IS THIS!?! More importantly, can I eat it?

-Fröccs... You say wine spritzer, I poorly pronounce Fröccs.

-But all is all right in the world... because this is where you buy the best Fröccs in the world.

My Newer Home.

I moved at the beginning of June to my very own flat [sic]. It has everything a girl could want. Kitchen with en suite bathroom, Stolen road sign, window that opens out onto the street (tres chic or door for mosquito), a tv nightstand, a cat garbage can (I don't like cats but I don't mind putting my garbage in them), a pink wall, a green wall and a turquoise wall.

More importantly it comes with a landlord from heaven (baked goods, delectable cuisine and arts and crafts projects all conveniently located across the hall). I am just a few blocks from the river, an island and an amazing bakery (excellent ice cream and pretty cookies to look at though I have not tried them). OH! and a bike (named Rosa Parks - more pictures of her another time).

I love it and rarely wear pants anymore (the things with legs, British people) which the locals who frequent, what appears to be a snow white themed bar, probably appreciate.

Tour? Sure why not!

-Welcome to my Kitchen... to the left of my washing machine is my bathroom.

-Upgrades will include a mirror... All in good time. Lowering the quality of the blog one picture of a bathroom at a time.

-Exiting my kitchen/entry way you can find my living/bedroom.

-Couch that turns into a bed... glamorous.

-Dining room, Junk table and bed.

-Must hang art soon...

-Yes, my friends, that was a wicked awesome tv night stand.

Budapest was Sinking and I Don’t Think Anyone Should Have Even Considered Swimming.

Flood!

Holy taledo the Danube flooded a couple weeks ago and it was like nothing I have ever seen. One day you are spitting off a bridge and wondering if it had hit the water and the next thing you know your tram line is full of water and the parliamentaerians are going to work in traditional boats. Lies! I know, but they should have because one. that would have been awesome and two. they could have seeing as the stairs conveniently led directly into the water.

I surveyed the situation on a daily basis, draggin' (because in 'Merica they don't use "G"s) my American tourist friend along, leading him to believe that a dirty river was all this city has to offer.

-One of the many bridges in which tour boats couldn't fit under... Not the one I was spitting off of unfortunately.

-Said Parliament Craziness…..

-People! Don't walk in there! Don't you see the water busting through the cracks. DON'T YOU SEE?!?!

-DANGER!

-I watched two boys bike into the water and secretly hoped they would get duck itch.

Shudder!

Not Pictured: The road under water on the other side of the river.

-TREES!

-I get it... there aren't many beaches to offer your kids. But, seriously parents, this was no place for a child.

-I suggest no parking.

Five Months Later...

I have finally won a quiz night. Finally.

A Day in the City without Mishap

I really debated telling this story to anyone at the time that it happened.... I thought to myself, "you never have to admit you did this... it is ok..." But I am running out of material so here we go:

The other day I spent the entire day running around the city. It was freeeeaaaaking hot outside and so humid - I can only imagine how interesting I must have looked on the 1000 degree bus. I was so proud of myself, I didn't get lost once... I went to return a phone, understood that I had to go to a repair shop, went to a repair shop, understood (via a translator) that I in fact would be able to get the phone repaired for free. This combined with the fact that I had found my dentist appointment the day before. "I am a success story. I have conquered the public transit system even without being able to read the signs or understand the bus driver announcements or why they sometimes come out of their booths just to yell at us."

THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. My title to this post was a complete lie. There are various vehicles of transit here: Trams that run on tracks above ground - basically street cars like on the opening credits of Full House. Buses - these are buses. Trolley Buses - red buses that are attached to the electrical lines; and three Metro lines. Oh and the night bus... That part of the story advanced the plot in no way. I just wanted to let you know that on a daily basis, I ride a vehicle like DJ from Full House did.

While riding the tram back and forth all day, I noticed that that it runs to a train station... because the second word is "pályaudvar" - I am such a sleuth. I noted the name of it and thought, "I bet that is the train station I take the metro to, to pick up the girl I tutor from school. Why have I been taking the metro there? I don't like the metro... You have to go down stairs and up stairs and stand on an escalator because no one moves and this weird wind hits you and the metro station is so far away from work, and the tram stop is right in front of work"

I couldn't believe for the last six months I have been taking a round-a-bout way to this school every week. How silly of me! My new "dentist going - phone repairing" self had figured out a better way to get to Buda!

The smart thing to do would have been to double check the train station's name because there are probably 6 in the city...

I rode the tram for twenty minutes going further and further into Buda and got off at a train station in which I have NEVER seen before. FAIL, EPIC FAIL. This kid is 9 years old, and I am now half way across the city. There is never a problem a taxi can't solve though.

Well that is officially the blandest story I have ever told - in the recent past I have also shown up at the wrong bar for a drink with a friend. TWICE. One of which is on the top of a seven story building (I had taken the stairs - and as noted above you know how I feel about stairs).

So to recap: I am a joke and Hungarian words are hard to remember.

Canadians in Budapest

Dearest Blog,

I am so back-logged with information to publicly share. Like this one time I met an Olympic Fencer from Brooks dressed as Axel Rose. Or like this other time, I had a birthday bbq, complete with sangria and beer and meats and salad and salsa and everything. And then there was this other time I had a second birthday meal complete with mexican food (a la Jill) and wine and a 'cake' made by my wonderful temporary flatmate by layer crepes, raspberry creme and cinnamon and sugar over and over again. OH! and that other time I planned a three person stand up comedy bit entitled "This One Time"... I am sure I will update you on all these occasions at another time (but knowing my track record I doubt it).

A couple of weeks ago I had two friends come to Budapest and what tourists we were. We went to all sorts of places, walked every street, went to a museum or two, spa-ed together, and went to every seedy underground bar I could show them. My lungs and liver appreciated the break once they left - showing people around is tough work.

Apperently, they brought summer with them and then took it back to Canada. JERKS - right? I am sorry Budapestians, Budapesters, Budapestinites, whatever you call yourselves, that was my fault... But now that I have appologized for my actions can you please stop with the wind and the rain and the cold?

I am now going to post a bunch of pictures that my lovely guests took of things I see all the time and forget how interesting they are. So, in no particular order whatsoever I present to you random Bp pictures:

-A staircase that i forgot looks TERRIFYING.

-Forest Gump Goes to Budapest.

During this particular photo shoot I was attempting to buy tickets to get into the Parliament. Let me break down this process for you as it is the perfect example for how many things work here:

1) Get the only guard in the parking lot wandering near the sign that says "Ask guard about the tours" to come over to the little fence to talk to you.

2) Ask him for more tour details... He says "Tickets" I respond "Yes" while pointing to our group. His response " One person can go to door number 10" and lets me through the gate.

3) Cross the completely empty parking in front of a crowd of tourists while cursing your grade 8 math teacher for doing a hockey pool instead of teaching you Roman Numerals [I think this is the second time I've cursed him in this blog... You think I would be over this by now but it turns out grade 8 math is the most relevant to real life]. Walk slower until someone with a camera around their neck comes out of door X. Go through that door.

4) Wait in line behind while two separate couples purchase (for free because they are from the EU) tickets for the German tour as the English tour is full. Both of the couples express that they don't speak German but will take what the can get.

5) Arrive at the ticket window (note there are no signs in the office indicating times of the tours or ticket prices) and ask if there are any spots in the English tour. Ticket woman asks "where we are from" and I say "Canada, but one of us has an EU passport (smelly British)".

6)Ticket woman tells you yes there is still room on the English tour (Cheer quietly for Canada - take that EU couples).

7) Tell the ticket woman that you don't have the EU passport with you and if it is going to cost 3500 HUF (WHOA!) you will have to run outside to confirm everything and get the passport...

8) Ticket woman scratches your names off the list and tells you that you might as well just come back tomorrow.

9)Take walk of shame back across the parking lot. Awesome. Good times. Maybe next time I will be more prepared.

-Tiny panoramic picture of two Sears models and half a man in a park.

-Paper car.

-Look at how hot it looks outside... That is because summer here is apparently one week long and then it becomes rainy monsoon freezing season.

-BEAN!

-Terror house... The third time I tried to visit was finally a success as the first two times it was mysteriously closed (or a Monday but we will never know...).

-The National Museum. I ate my first of three birthday dinners here during the 15 minutes last week when it was warm.

-I never thought my old apartment building was this scary looking. Eventually I will show you my new neighbourhood - complete with fountains and benches.

-Prettttyyyy...

After finding this mushroom I have a new found advantage in this city. I am not telling you where the one-up is though.

-A local bar as seen from the second floor.

-Just hanging in a car, in a bar. Rhyming.

Best Conference EverStaße

So, though it was a while ago now (so long ago that I have almost written up all the evaluations and finished writing one short report on the event) let me, for those of you that aren't on my work mailing list, recap my first work conference.

I don't know if you know this but, I went to Berlin (again) a couple of weeks ago for work. We were putting on a conference called... Ok it had a really long, convoluted name that I still have to look for on our website when writing about. You can google my workplace to read about it. Because of the all aforementioned stuff I have been doing since I have returned am only going to tell you some of the highlights and post some stolen participant pictures…

Highlights:

• Congratulating one another on loud burps in the prep-committee room.

-Our comic book would be Awesome!!

-We had soooooo much work to do two days before the participant's arrived.

-But we finished it in style.

• Meeting 43 super awesome (I went there) people... This isn't even including the Vice President of the German Parliament. That's right, I met him! (and by "met him" I mean - I sat on the other side of a room from him while he answered questions about stuff and things).
• Touring the Reichstag WITH a tour guide. I don't know if you know this about me, but I L-O-V-E tours of places. I think this was ingrained in me by the family's numerous trips to forts in Western Canada. Did I mention it was the Reichstag though??? This building has a 1.5 hour wait in the down season! We had a private tour! A PRIVATE TOUR. Breathe… I think the rest of the people in my tour group were pretty sick on me saying things like "OH MY GOD look at this" and "OH MY GOD I can't believe I am here" and and "THERE IS A HOLE IN THE TOP OF THE BUILDING!" They can suck a toe though because EGAWD That building is so interesting… There is left-over graffiti in it and the Parliamentary House itself (or whatever you call it, I took POL SCI 101 five years ago) is just incredible - public galleries, glass ceiling, pedways. WILD! I can't get over how interesting that building was. You should all go see it.

-"Whoa! Everyone - STOP! It is the building we are in... but small!"

-"OMG look at how big that eagle is"

-"Wasn't that the BEST tour you have EVER been on? Can we nap on the grass so that we can dream about how fun that tour was???"

• The size of this elevator!

-Nothing says I love you like standing too close to one another.

• Learning what it means when a man tries to sell you tickets into the other side of the ruin bar... when no one else needed tickets to get in (Could he have chosen someone more naive?) I know a guy in Berlin if you need "tickets".
• A fridge full of beer that I had nothing to do with.

-Welcome to Europe: Where all events include beer...

• Learning to speak German: "Schnell, This conference is graveystraße, but would be better with more sleepplatz"
• Telling a participant you would like to write a song for everyone... being too busy and instead them having write a song for us. Cute! Tear, sniff, sigh... (I don't think that bullet point makes sense, but I am leaving it in)
• Catching people looking for the Ash Cloud in a blue sky.
• Only one person going to the hospital.
• Only awkwardly kissing one person hello because I thought we were going for the double kiss and she thought I was going for a hug. Ugh.
• Digging in a dumpster (It was a German dumpster, I could have eaten out of it, it was so clean) so that people could do this:

-When life gives you lemons, make solar panels, reconcile with your neighbours, and solve your country's internal economic problems.

-Could they look any more polite?

-These captions don't make any sense because none of you were there... Well they were teams, they had garbage and constitutions and had to make shelters. More importantly we changed the rules on them constantly. It was cute.

-A shout out to Lauren, in Toronto, for making this game up with me... It was a success!

In other news, I have the best job in the world.

I spent two days longer in Berlin after the conference. The first evening I spent with a small contingent of Ash Cloud Squatters. We made a giant meal and then I SLEPT! It was lovely. The next day I wandered the entire city. I saw the East Side Gallery, shopped for shoes, went into 500 vintage stores, walked along the river, and coveted new neighborhoods to live in.

I am sure I did more but I didn't have my camera with me.

Oh! I napped in the grass and ate a tofu burrito. I am not even a fan of tofu but I haven't seen anything like that in so long I was overly excited.

-Look! Another picture I didn't take but how cool is that tower?? Pretty neat hey?! HEY LOOK AT HOW COOL THIS CITY IS!

-I also didn't take this picture... but I was might have been near by when someone else was.

I took the 12 hour train ride for the fourth time, this time with 30 song books, a stack of paperwork, t-shirts and a computer in my backpack. The train stopped on the furthest platform from the exit in the train station and I literally had to rest three times before I even exited the building. In my defense, books are heavy and the Keleti Train Station is probably four blocks long.

I had two nights rest, I think, (sorry... I blinked and then it was May. Time is whizzing by), and I had a Canadian friend come for a visit, swiftly followed by a second one.

More to come another time about being a tourist in Budapest. Now back to my usual routine of being extremely (this time with more sunlight and tanning) busy.