Airport security is touchy in the non-emotional sense of the word.

It was upwards of 40 degrees today. Our office hit 30 degrees. I have reason to believe I sweat out my ability to think clearly, read and/or write. I've also spent an abnormal amount of time this week with the Danish so I might be writing and speaking Danglish - I am not sure...Good luck reading this post.

Since I last posted I've been to Cologne and Bonn! They are right next to one another so don't get too excited about all my travels. I went to Cologne for a Chad Vangaalan concert - it was wonderful (don't click that link if you don't like swear words).

This was my general experience with the plane ride there:

I forgot to take off my watch before walking through the security scanner thing. Knowing that the band, though wood on the outside, is entirely made of metal I gestured to Hungarian, super-security woman that I'd like to put it in my basket. "Basket too far through scanner" she glared at me.

So, of course, I set the stupid scanner off and get pulled to the side to get felt up in public.

The woman and the gloves, that have touched everyone, went everywhere to the point of feeling that we should have at least been formally introduced. Why she wasn't using the back of her hands is beyond me. I was wearing shorts and a tank top there were VERY few places to check for weapons and yet it took a VERY long time.

When she concluded that my I didn't manage to tape bombs to the bottoms of my feet and then shove them into a pair of sandals I was allowed to leave. I felt a little bit better that she had to touch my stinky, bare feet. After my cheap thrills I fell asleep (as most do) with my mouth open before take-off because I am all kinds of classy when I have to wake up at 5:30am.

Other disgusting things that happened on this journey:

• The guy sitting in the window seat in the row behind me threw a plastic bag full of what appeared to be shit into the garbage tray. Tossed over an entire row of people a bag of shit. Entire row of people. A bag of shit. SHIT.
• Someone opened and ate what smelled like fish food just in time for landing. 

In conclusion: The general public is a miserable group.

My Big Break

I don't want to be famous but it seems like a pretty sought after thing to be. I also don't mean to brag but this might just be my big break. 

-This sentence here, is the link to my FAME.

That is some ground breaking cellphone photojournalism for you.

If I've done the math right - You're 63!

Happy Birthday Piebs!

Thanks for cleaning my apartment, driving me to the ski hill and always paying as little attention as me in church:

Hope your day was great and that Grandma didn't steal all your birthday thunder!

ummm that being said....

Happy Birthday Mooka Smid!

I love you enough to post a picture of me with a crying nose! I hope you had a great day. I am sure you and Dad really partied hard. Next time we hang out we will take better pictures. 

Love love love!

The + sign gets a Tonne of Lovin'

I joined Google+. I might be one of your friends if you ask politely. I will even send you an invitation if you insist. I just can't guarantee I will feed any information to you. The main reason is that I don't understand how it works.

Questions I have:

• Do people know that I've named most of my circles offensive titles so I am reminded not to share things with them?
• If you are 'hanging out' alone and you forget you are 'hanging out' are you warned when someone comes to 'hang out' with you and finds that you are just sitting there braiding your hair in a complete circle around your head and singing along to Outkast or can they just quietly leave?
• Did anyone 'hang-out' with me an hour ago?
• Can people Google the following "Things Jill clicked the +1 for" and see the things I've clicked the +1 on? If they can, I need to stop clicking those....
• Are the developers of Google+ tired of reading "How does this work?", "If I post something to just one person's feed and then comment on that post is the comment still private?", "Can you see this?", "Is this public?", "Where is your wall?", "Why can't I poke anyone", "Can people read that I've put them in a circle with an offensive title?"?
• Why did I have to share my Picasa account? If Google+ keeps getting used does that mean so will Picasa? Aw man, that would really suck!
• How many Friends does Mark Zuckerberg have?
• Can you suggest a solution for putting people into circles? How does one divide people into categories? I've got nine people in circles and I am already up to six circles because I can't commit.
• Does anyone else's pinky hurt really badly because they are using it to find the damn + sign all the time?

Things I like about Google+:

• It doesn't have Facebook privacy settings and the constantly changing Facebook messaging system.
• Nothing else.... yet. You've still got a few weeks to woo me Google+... I'm looking for something new... flirt, flirt. 

Things I dislike about Google+:

• It made me feel lonely.

Things that don't make me feel lonely that maybe should:

• Cooking enough fajitas for four people even though you know you are the only one eating.
• Eating enough fajitas for two.
• Watching an entire season of Veronica Mars in one week.
• Realising the word bored and amped are the same numbers on a cell phone and finding it totally and utterly hilarious.... alone.
• Braiding my hair while singing along to Outkast.

Editor's Note and WARNING: Oh god! The things you've +1ed on Google definitely show up on your Google+ Page. Prominently.